"Grandmommy loves you....

...more than you'll ever know, Sara, darling."

Growing up in Kentucky, I heard this thousands of times in a soft, southern drawl. I am named after my paternal grandmother, Sara Evelyn Gott Cohron. I know few people so unadulterated, so full of wholesome love and affection. She died just a month before our wedding day, in the summer of 1994, but her pure and loving spirit abides in my heart. The beauty of the Communion of Saints is that I am still getting to know her quiet, steadfast person. She is praying for me. I know this. I know that many of the soft, sweet promptings that I feel, as a wife and mother and sister in Christ, come from the love poured in to me by my grandmother Sara. Lord, open my lips and my mouth will proclaim your praise!

This morning, as I was reflecting on a book of daily spiritual meditations (I try to take some time every morning to ask God "in" to my day, hopefully listening to one or two things that I know He has planned for me for the day.) I was deeply aware, for a minute or two, of the refreshing love God is always sending our way. He is so meek and humble of heart. His servants are meek and humble of heart.

This is so sweet. I am also praying and reading alot about our need to completely experience the Father's blessing, through the one saving act of His Son on the Holy Cross. I know that sounds like remedial Christianity. It is. As I have been going around the house doing my work, I have been humming and singing the words of the good thief, the thief who "stole Heaven." We pray:

Jesus, remember me, when You come in to Your Kingdom.
Jesus, remember me, when You come in to Your Kingdom!

As I mentioned in a recent post, lately God has been asking me to become more aware of the various charisms He gives to us, the members of the Body of Christ. Thanks be to God and his priests, there is an Awakening going on in my soul. This may sound corny. I do not care. I am, and always have been, a bit of a country girl. In the Kentucky of the 1930's, one of the delights of my grandmother Sara's youth was to feed the chickens on her family farm. Here in suburban Georgia, last month, at a recent parish mission, the priest talked about "entering the atmosphere of God's Kingdom," and he evoked an image in me of the recent movie I had seen earlier this summer with my husband and my son, "Apollo 13," with actor Tom Hanks.

In the movie, the astronauts do not make their lunar landing, as planned. They do, however, leave the atmosphere of their home planet, Earth. They circle the moon and view the Earth from afar. This has happened to me with the terrible sufferings of what has happened in Regnum Christi and the Congregation of the Legionaries of Christ. Sufferings shoot us out of ourselves, making us so vulnerable. So often, it can make us bitter; and, we may choose to leave our "homeland," which is God's Love and Mercy, for a long time.

Thanks be to God, this did not happen to me. I asked, and asked, and asked again for Mary to "hold me." I asked the Blessed Mother to pray to Jesus, her Divine Son, Who will refuse nothing she asks. I asked her to ask Him to tell me what I need to stay the course and live out the Father's Holy Will for my life. In a nutshell, the answer was the Holy Spirit.

So, I do not know everything. I do know that I am loved and blessed beyond my wildest imaginings. That is so good. On that, I can hang my hat. On that, I can call it a new day, a day in which I am open and ready to love others as God loves. When I fail, I jump in to Mary's lap, which is mysteriously the Seat of Wisdom.

I answered my grandmother's blessing this morning during my prayer time. I told her, "I am just starting to know what 'more than you'll ever know' is..." I am just starting to know.

May Thy Kingdom Come, Thy Will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven. Amen.

Renewed, restructured, repurposed...

...recycled, re-invited, revised...what more comes to mind? At the end of last school year, I responded "Yes" to an invitation to attend a one-day (Saturday) Catholic Charismatic Conference, here in suburban Atlanta. It was a day dedicated to "praise and teaching." My heart and mind were renewed. I was taught in a very special way, hard to articulate for me, even with two university degrees (was graduated in 1989 from Brown University, B.A. with Honors; and, again, in 1992, from Vanderbilt University, M.A. with Honors.) that God's Wisdom is truly not human wisdom. I have been thinking and praying lately that I desire and need the Holy Spirit to guide my steps, as we enter in to a new school year. Our children are 15, 13 and 10.

I am a wife and mother. Thanks be to God and to my faithful husband, I have, throughout most of my almost 17 years of marriage been a stay-at-home wife and mother. We began homeschooling 6 years ago and this little work has done so much to enrich our life of faith and grace, within the arms of Mother Church. We try hard to ask God to increase our faith, hope and love. We often fall short and are very human ("in the flesh" as one dear sister in Christ recently expressed to me). His grace is surely enough, and that is an awesome reality indeed. Alleluia!

I enjoy looking at the odds and ends around our house, garage and yard, especially our eclectic mix of furniture, and see how we can move things around, paint something, or use some thing or some place in our home for something a little fresher, a little different from what or where it has been. I think our awesome God, in His infinite creativity, often looks at our lives that way. He is inviting us to change. We know this.

If we set about to plan our daily lives -- daily, weekly, monthly...into retirement-- without Him and the Spirit of God, we will surely "poop out" and find ourselves exhausted and depleted. This has happened to "me and mine" on several occasions. On the other hand, we must turn to his holy mother, the Blessed Virgin Mary, Mother of God, and hear the Words of her Spouse, "Repent and believe the good news!" The Sacrament of Penance saves us over and over and keeps us humble, secure and free.

This summer 2011, I have been hearing God tell me to turn to Him, to wait on the Lord and let Him fill me with His grace and purpose FIRST, then I can "go out and make disciples of all the nations." Here is the big news that is big and little, at the same time:

We wives and moms are called to make these disciples first and foremost in our homes among brother husband and sister daughter. Among brother son. Among brother dog and sister cat. If I may add, with a bit of reverant humor, among brother dust and sister laundry!

I am off to do some cooking and to pray a morning offering with our son. I hope and pray for renewal in Mother Church, starting with one domestic church at a time.

Please, Sacred Heart of Jesus and Immaculate Heart of Mary, renew this wife and mother's heart. Bring my heart between your Holy Hearts and make a "heart sandwich". I want my heart to be completely consumed by the fires of Divine Love, so that all evils will be conquered, especially those evils that hatch so close to home through the internet, salacious advertising and music, and general concupiscence. May Thy Kingdom Come, Thy Holy Will be Done in us, as persons and as families, now and throughout all eternity. Amen.

The Teaching of St. Therese on Purgatory

The link is here.

from all your idols I will cleanse you...

Canticle – Ezekiel 36:24-28
The Lord will renew his people
They will be his own people, and God himself will be with them, their own God (Revelation 21:3).

I will take you away from among the nations,
gather you from all the foreign lands,
and bring you back to your own land.

I will sprinkle clean water upon you
to cleanse you from all your impurities,
and from all your idols I will cleanse you.
I will give you a new heart
and place a new spirit within you,
taking from your bodies your stony hearts
and giving you natural hearts.

I will put my spirit within you
and make you live by my statutes,
careful to observe my decrees.

You shall live in the land I gave your fathers;
you shall be my people,
and I will be your God.

Glory to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit:
– as it was in the beginning, is now, and will be for ever. Amen.

from Morning Prayer (Divineoffice.org)

Prayer of St. Teresa of Avila to keep keeping Lent

“Why O Lord, should I be preoccupied with my fears and lose courage in the face of my weakness? You give me to understand that I must fortify myself in humility, and convince myself that I can do very little alone, and that without your help I am nothing. I shall put all my confidence in your mercy, and shall distrust my own strength, convinced that my weakness is caused by my self-reliance. You teach me not to be astonished at my struggle, for when a soul wishes to give itself over to mortification, it encounters difficulties on all sides. Does it wish to give up its ease? What a hardship! To scorn a point of honor? What a torture! To endure harsh words? Intolerable suffering! In short, it becomes filled with extreme sadness, but as soon as it resolved to die to the world, every anguish is at an end.”

Saint Teresa of Avila

I was over at the Catholic Spiritual Direction blog and found this prayer. Perfect timing!

Our Lady of the Annunciation, pray for us!

This prayer is from the Invitatory on DivineOffice.org:

Prayer to Our Lady of the Annunciation

Queen of heaven and earth,
daughter of the Father,
Mother of the divine Son,
spouse of the Holy Spirit,

I praise God for the unique grace given to you.
Mary, you became the great Mother of our divine Savior,
our Master, true Light of the world,
uncreated Wisdom, source of all truth and first Apostle of truth.
You gave the world the book to read, the eternal Word.

For this I bless the holy Trinity
and I ask you to obtain for me
the grace of heavenly wisdom,
to be a fervent disciple of Jesus
and to be lovingly devoted to the Church,
the pillar of truth.

Make the light of the Gospel
shine to the farthest bounds of the earth.
Queen of the Apostles, pray for us!

Prayer Source: Fr. James Alberione SSP

from Morning Prayer

READING 2 Corinthians 1:3-5

Praised be God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all consolation! He comforts us in all our afflictions and thus enables us to comfort those who are in trouble, with the same consolation we have received from him. As we have shared much in the sufferings of Christ, so through Christ do we share abundantly in his consolation.

Loving Christ Jesus

Reading this blog post by Mark Mallett and trying to stay upbeat even though we have a lingering stomach-flu over here. It gives more time for prayer; I wish I had more energy for cleaning.

This post is sure to warm the soul.

February Daybook

I am listening to...

Dogs laping up water and circling the kitchen ready to go out after a late breakfast.

I am wearing...

Lots of layers as the rain makes me cold.

I am so grateful for...

My husband's job, my children's strong bodies and active minds, my arthritis.

I'm pondering...

The best possible rhythmn for an inspired, Catholic family life. Every family has different needs, challenges, joys, sorrows that go in to the way they work out their schedule. It is a juggling act; and, we need not work so hard at it that there is no room to let God help us. I find that when I push too hard, all the balls fall.

I am reading...

"The Secret Garden" aloud to our son (so good!) and many other things. I was over reading this post by Elizabeth Foss this morning and it gave me needed time and space to pray and think and breathe about our approach to education, especially religious education. It all starts at home and ends at home.

I am thinking...

So much about how we live and how we might live a better quality of life. I am frustrated by "suburban sprawl" and its difficulties. Catholics see "challenges" and "opportunities" in every circumstance and our adventure of home education has greatly helped in "making lemonade from lemons." I am trying hard to pray, study and think and do little things to help the children and young be prepared for what I think will surely be some very challenging times ahead in our social landscape.

I am creating...

Too much clutter on our main level. I am constantly piling things on the dining room table, kitchen table, and kitchen counters and have plenty of room to organize a little prayer corner and "mini study" up in our master bedroom. I am creating this in my mind, now to get the job done! Like many, we do most of our homeschooling at the kitchen table. I need a new habit of taking things up in the mornings, after coffee and up again in the evenings after tea ("pegging" as many moms call it).

To live the Liturgy...

Jay and I are watching the Ken Burns series on the Civil War off Netflix and tomorrow us the feast day of St. Josephine Bakhita of Sudan so I pulled our Pauline biography off the shelf of this saint and hope to read it over the next couple of days. I hope to make at least one daily Mass this week and to get us AS A FAMILY to Confession. This has been very hard this school year.

I am hoping and praying...

That with our BELOVED pastor leaving that things will work out to give God glory. I am praying for many intentions.

Around the House...

Really need to create the mini study upstairs and keep the main level clutter free.

From the kitchen...

Made a chicken and fresh broccoli casserole last night that was a hit, served with hot buttered rice.

One of my favorite things...

A husband who hoses off the back patio and stepping stones out back on a weekend when he is tending to lots of driving, animal care..."He does things for me, I do things for him" (from an article I read last week on marriage-- I'll add link later,if I think of it).

A few plans for the rest of the week...

So happy with son's ice hockey camp and homeschool ice skating at The Ice here in Cumming. Making plans for upcoming swim team banquet for the girls and big grandparent visit (we have three winter bdays that we will celebrate together). And, need to make small steps every day toward that upstairs space and back to "tried and true" de-clutter habits and add a few new ones, by God's grace.

Picture thoughts...

We are less than two weeks away from a big 10 for our son, and just celebrated the big 13 for JB, so here is this:

His grace is sufficient for the task at hand...

I was over here pausing for a little prayer time and cannot believe how the Scriptures give the good and wise counsel needed for me personally but even down to the exact challenges that I face today.

Here is the concluding prayer, and it is like music to my ears:

Father,
yours is the harvest
and yours is the vineyard:
you assign the task
and pay a wage that is just.
Help us to meet this day’s responsibilities,
and let nothing separate us from your love.
Grant this through Christ our Lord.
– Amen.

St. John Bosco, pray for us!

Authentic Compassion

This blog post over at La Salette Journey gives a thought-provoking meditation on compassion. As I prayerfully work out my vocation as a Catholic married woman, I hope that the "fear and trembling" caused by the action of the Holy Spirit clarifies my spiritual vision.

Open my eyes, Lord! Open my ears, Mother!

Sacred Heart of Jesus, have mercy on us!
Immaculate Heart of Mary, pray for us!

Let's work hard against contempt, let's adore Him, let's love...

"We can only learn to know ourselves and do what we can -- namely, surrender our will and fulfill God's will in us." --St. Teresa of Avila

I have a few quiet moments and am thinking about how fast the rest of the year will go by...and, I want to bring a grateful heart to each day, not worrying if I "get everything done". I am a "worry wart," as they used to call my grandpa (my dad's dad). It is important for me to stop and see the big picture, to stop and adore our Eucharistic Lord, even when I am not directly in front of the Blessed Sacrament. He, the Prince of Peace is, so very mysteriously, living inside of me and, as a beautiful song goes, "He is the air I breathe..."

We are all called to be living tabernacles. I love this thought and know that the Incarnation made this all possible. No wonder so many love Christmas. The miracle of Christmas is the gift of Mother Church. Christ came as a baby and would become even smaller in the Sacred Host (think of that!). As a convert, I am still learning and renewing, via His sacramental graces, my knowledge of the truths of the Faith. We know that Purgatory is the "Church Suffering" and that we, pilgrims on earth, are the "Church Militant" and that all persons are created to journey in faith, hope and love to our ultimate destiny of utter refuge, known to Catholics as the "Church Triumphant."

Heaven is the goal. It is the place to which we run. I was talking to some of the members of my Regnum Christ small prayer group (know as our "Encounters with Christ")about the idea that Heaven will be, for me, a place not of rest, as we tend to think of it. As a disabled person, I like to think of Heaven as a place where we are always free to move, free to act with verve and full-blown energy to love perfectly all the time. Come to think of it, that would be eternal rest because we would "rest" in the peace of a fully certain conscience, meaning that our hearts would be utterly pure. We would be unencumbered by our mental, emotional and physical disabilities. Living fully in the embrace of the Blessed Mother gazing in complete communion with the Blessed Trinity, we would be one act of pure love all of the time -- Heaven!!!

I know it is not a sin to be tired, but, as I am so tired so much of the time, I am blessed, if you will, to think, from time to time, of all the good works that I could initiate, if I were to have more energy. Alas, nothing is wasted! What I mean by that is that we can pray with all of our might for souls. We can offer everything up to Him who is Love. And, we must do what we can when we can to inspire and encourage ourselves and others.

We can offer each and every aspect of our daily lives for the salvation of souls, beginning first with our own. A related item I have been pondering is the fact that we must work and pray very hard not to be contemptuous of our own failings or those of others. Our Lord warns us of the only "unforgivable sin" being (all) that which opposes the Holy Spirit (do not quench the Spirit!). God never fails to forgive. We condemn ourselves. We know this. When we make our morning offering and ask for the special intercession of the Immaculate Heart of Mary and the mercy of the Sacred Heart of Jesus, we must do so humbly and in full recognition of our potential for contempt, of ourselves and of others.

I just looked up contempt and you may be given a bit of a jolt --it is from the Latin contemnere, meaning to despise. Wow! Contempt is "an attitude to something (or someone, I add) which one despises as worthless, insignificant or vile; total disregard." (Webster's)

I believe this is key to understanding the internal persecutions of Mother Church. When any human person is deemed worthless (which can happen internally or externally, or both), then the demons leap in to the situation. When an idea that is good, truthful and beautiful is distorted, then the same occurs. The godly practices of celibacy for the Kingdom, worship of the Blessed Sacrament, family prayer, parish renewal, true friendship, authentic love, filial obedience to Mother Church -- there are so many more -- when these are held in contempt, watch out!

But first, return every hour of every day to the Lord with your whole heart. Ask our Lady to be your mother, to guide you, pray with you and for you. Ask for prayers from the holy souls and pray for them (then you will have "friends in high places," as I tell the kids). Here is a good link on Purgatory.

The one, sure prophetic word of God is to love. Spending time in front of the Blessed Sacrament will increase your capacity to love, of this I am sure for I have experienced it in my own life. I know it to be true both from doctrine and from experience. Both are good and sound. Only magisterial doctrine is constant, but it must be experienced to be transmitted, so that we may evangelize the world.

Is it possible that the teaching can be more sound, more constant, than the teacher? I am speaking of apostles, not our Lord Himself, of course. He mysteriously acts through clay pots. I have more cracks than most! I do know that true and real devotion to our Blessed Mother includes an ardent desire to free the holy souls from Purgatory.

Holy Souls in Purgatory, pray for us! I pray that the holy souls know that we care, that they do have us to pray for them and that they will help us love ourselves as children of the Most High God the Father and that they will help us love others as our Savior has loved us! Amen

St. Teresa of Avila (my Confirmation saint), pray for all inhabitants of this good earth!

Spiritual training and the "development of the moral imagination"

I am over here reading author and artist Michael O' Brien's thoughts and experiences regarding the "Harry Potter" series. This is a long quote,written by O'Brien and is in the preface of his new book on the "HP" series, but so worth reading:

...The imagination is a phenomenally powerful faculty of the interior life of human beings. How it functions, and how it assimilates and recreates images and concepts into new forms, remains to some degree a mystery. It is like an empty stage, and whatever comes to habitually take place on that stage depends largely on what we choose through the will and the intellect to put there—or to allow to remain there. The imagination’s dramas can be generated by the literal events in the environment around us, by powerful emotional and sensory stimuli, and by painful and joyful experiences. It is also the arena where the subconscious mind dramatizes desires and conflicts (either in dreams or waking fantasies), where the lower appetites throw up images, sometimes exalted, sometimes sinful, sometimes a mixture of these. The imagination also tends to reflect the preoccupations and the spiritual condition of the society around us.

In addition, the imagination is a screen onto which the evil spirits can “project” images, temptations presented as stimulating entertainments, offering us pleasurable rewards if we give in to the temptation. The more we give in, the more this dimension of the imagination grows, the more it becomes a vehicle of enchantment of the will, then obsession, and if not wholly repented of, ending in some degree of bondage to evil. If we want to become whole and healthy, the imagination must be trained, just as the body, the rational intellect, and the will must be trained. Any one of these aspects of our personhood, if not brought under discipline and self-mastery with the help of grace, can lead to the domination of the part over the whole. The development of a moral imagination, therefore, demands as much self-restraint and proper direction as an athlete exercises over his body.

St. Jerome, pray for us!

Our Lady of Sorrows, pray for us!

I am over here to wind down and marvel at the beauty of it all!

Summer heat, summer stress, summer renew...

I am so glad to re-find this blogger mom who has given me much inspiration for years now. I am so tired and stressed lately. I really need to get to daily Mass at least once a week! Please pray for me!

It is so pitiful --that it makes me smile-- thinking that I am just too tired to post a list of personal reading that I'd like to do this summer 2010.

Summer is for reading, is it not? It is for relaxing and refreshing the mind, body and soul. So far, little of those things. The tide needs to turn. I have learned in the past, time and time again, that if I want a change in our family habits and routines, well......... guess whose heart needs to change?

Turning yellow and pruning out cowardice...

Note: Today is Friday, May14th, and I am re-reading this and seeing how opaque my language is...in plain language: what I mean is that it takes courage to frequent the Sacrament of Penance. I have been very regular with Confession for the past 4 years, and I still find it hard to go and allow our Savior to prune me. Our Lord Jesus Christ gave us the Sacraments so that we would flower abundantly during our earthly pilgrimmage and merit, only through His graces, Heaven.

My son and I spent hours digging and planting yesterday. The fresh air and sunshine did us both good. This year, I have not been getting enough physical exercise and recreation. A balance of prayer, rest and work is so necessary to keep one's prayer life from withering. Like the yellow leaves on sickly plants, there are yellow leaves on the flower of my soul that need a good pruning. This is an ongoing process. The first "cut," by the grace of God, has come from this blessed time of physical recreation in the garden. The next cut must come from the Sacrament of Reconciliation.

For a long time now, I remind myself that celebrating Confession just before Mass is like giving the devil the "one-two punch". I have high hopes of this coming Sunday's Eucharist. I cannot give what I do not have. It is so easy for me to succumb to sloth, both physically and spiritually.

We Christians are called to be salt and light. All fertilizers that help our plants grow are basically salts. Over and over, since I entered the Catholic Church at the vigil Mass of the first Sunday of Easter 2000, I have experienced a withering of my prayer life when I wait too long to go to Confession. Confession is God's will and His merciful Heart. We cannot give the mercy that we do not receive.

All praise and glory be to God, I see, in myself and others, the desire to be salt and light. This desire will not bear fruit without the courageous Love that comes from careful celebration of God's Sacraments.

Hail Mary, full of grace, blessed art thou amongst women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus...

The Glories of Mary

I just prayed the "Regina Coeli," and was looking around the internet researching this prayer, and found this online -- wow!

the big drive

I wish somehow I could capture the palpable softness that is in the air right now. As we made a whirlwind trip up to Kentucky, leaving last Friday and returning yesterday afternoon, I told my hubby that I felt as if we were driving through an Impressionist painting. There were so many redbud trees. Their lovely flowers stood out amongst the pale-green, baby leaves of the budding hardwoods. So, this morning, as I go around the house taking all the purple construction paper off our religious art (yes!), I want so very much to hold these early spring days in my heart. Our Savior is risen indeed: and, I have this sense that He is calling me to cast out all fear. God is the God of surprises. He is the Father who gives His children what they need, not necessarily what they want. He wants me to shed my fears. I had no idea that this would be my Easter blessing. I had little idea how coated in fear I am. I am reading and discovering some very powerful ideas about the Resurrection...

How language can set our hearts ablaze with Love...

I had half an hour to read and pray a little...these reflections printed in Magnificat at the end of the Mass readings are rich indeed. This is from Mother Marie des Douleurs who was the foundress of the Benedictine sisters of Jesus Crucified. Since she died in 1983, I hope to have the time to research this inspired foundress. Here is a quote from the meditation:

She (Mary) put herself wholly into this perspective of final, absolute triumph, and we see her always in a golden light. She believed, not in a timid faith in tune with the weaknesses and vicissitudes of our present life, but with a faith in harmony with the awesome ardors of the Infinite. She had seen the reign of the Spirit of her Son, and in her serenity she was in no need of patience while waiting till the sparks led at last to the blaze of glory.

(italics mine -- wow!)

the apostolate of kindness

I'm off to bed too late as I am not used to the time change. I was over here and love this...

And this from the Pope's Wednesday catechesis:

The Pope said that St. Bonaventure was "fascinated" by the idea that love still has sight in the “dark night of the Cross all the greatness of divine love appears: where reason no longer sees, love does. ... This is not anti-intellectual or anti-rational; it accepts the path of reason but transcends it in the love of the crucified Christ.”