Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Lesson #1: we fear what we perceive will be difficult...

Last night my husband and I watched our 11 year old daughter have a meltdown. She was devastated. She was crying. She was inconsolable. What she said she was protesting she was not protesting; and, as I pointed out to my hubby --and he saw to be true -- she was deeply afraid of the unknown future. Yet, another time when "Lesson #1" kicked in -- and, it is our children who teach it to us, our children who act as the mirror reflecting our fallen humanity right before us.

I too fear the unknown. Unlike our daughter, lots of practice recognizing my fear has often helped me reject it, helped me to push onward with little to no protest. Of course, there are still times when I let it creep up on me, and, just like my tender-hearted, blue-eyed girl, I say one thing when I really mean another. I think fear works that way. We try hard to find an easier path. We work hard avoiding the job God has put before us. Some Bible translations quote our Savior's great exhortation as "Be not afraid." Recently, I heard what I thought a better translation, "Stop fearing."

At a recent three day women's retreat, by God's grace, I spent many hours in concentrated prayer. I was emotionally and physically very tired by Sunday. Then, like the brilliant, yet slowly evolving, sunrise, I awoke from my fatigue and saw a clear day. I wish I could say that I knew exactly what God wanted of me on the hour of everyday...that kind of clarity is not what I mean. What I did see clearly was that, like my young daughter, I fear what I perceive will be difficult. Prayer helps us take on God's perspective. He perceives life much differently than do we fallen humans. At the same time, He created us to love, and to love both naturally and supernaturally, so there must be some recourse to shrug off the terrible fears that so often cripple His will for our lives.

The recourse is His Sacred Body and Blood, His Real Presence in the Blessed Sacrament. I pray that I may bring this wonderful -- this truly awesome-- reality to more people before my earthly pilgrimmage is over. I pray that I might be more open to adoring Him, to just allowing myself to be quiet in His Presence. Lord, hear our prayer!

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